Have you been on a vacation that your work hijacked?
Do you wake up at night thinking about work?
Do you cut family time short for work?
If you answered yes to any of those questions, you could be a workaholic.
Being a workaholic does not just mean working a lot of hours. According to overwork expert Malissa Clark, it means suffering from an inability to disconnect from your job.
In my experience coaching leaders, this is the norm. Company reorganizations often lead to fewer resources, causing longer hours. Some work multiple jobs, while others have lost their pre-pandemic work-life balance. For those still working remotely or in a hybrid setup, constant visual reminders of work create subconscious stress.
I Need A Vacation From My Vacation
Vacations can be powerful because they help you escape work reminders, yet many executives do not take meaningful time off to relax. For some, working on vacation can be necessary, depending on what is happening in your company. But if that happens regularly, you need more vacation time because you are not getting the rejuvenation that you need. If you are working during your vacation, you are not separating work from what should be your downtime.
The Phone Dilemma
The same executives who struggle to take real vacations also have difficulty disconnecting from their phones. I suggest a simple exercise: When you get home from work, turn off your phone and put it away. This time is for family. Before bed, you can check the phone for emergencies. Train your employees to expect you will check your phone later in the evening to respect family time.
When I propose this to clients, I often face pushback, as some leaders feel they must be reachable. I suggest getting a second phone for emergencies. That number is shared only with essential team members and is to be used only in the case of emergencies. When that phone goes off, you always answer and deal with it, but that should rarely happen. That has been true for my clients, because most situations aren’t truly urgent and important. You need to realize that not everything is as urgent as it feels in the moment.
This attempt at a daily digital detox has proven effective for my clients and has improved their family relationships, which is the goal.
Take Care Of Yourself
We often hear that self-care is not selfish, but I find that many people do not become aware of the need for self-care until they are already in a state of burnout. And if you are truly in burnout, a weekend away, or even a week, will not solve the problem. I’ve read story after story about how long it can take to recover from burnout—as long as six months to a year.
Many people think burnout is about working too much, but it actually happens when the pressures of deadlines, demands and long hours outweigh the benefits of rewards, recognition and downtime. And it is very physical. It disrupts cognitive functions like creativity, problem-solving and memory, and it affects the body’s neuroendocrine system, which regulates cortisol. This, in turn, can impact cardiovascular health and the immune system.
Step Back From The Brink Of Burnout
So how do you avoid getting to the point of burnout? There are obvious answers such as setting boundaries and taking real time off from work—even taking a sabbatical, if possible.
But first, we must address the thoughts that keep you connected to work. When clients say they cannot stop thinking about work, I respond, “Yes, you can.” First, they must stop telling themselves they cannot stop. It is a deeply wired pattern that has been practiced for years, but you must break the conversation you are having with yourself. Some of the typical worries around disconnecting from work include “There will be too much work to come back to” or “I’ll get fired from my job.”
These are unfounded beliefs that we hold on to. Shift out of this worry and into action: time management, structure and organization. If you are working more than you should and feel overwhelmed, there is too much work, so talk to your supervisor about setting boundaries.
Unfortunately, for founders and CEOs, the path can be harder, as there may be no one else to turn to.
R&R: A Key To Breaking Free From Overwork
When you are a workaholic, you are exhausted all the time, and it takes you longer to accomplish tasks because your brain is not operating at optimal capacity. Rest can help you feel sharper and more focused.
I am a big advocate for wearable devices that measure your sleep time and sleep efficiency. One device I find particularly useful gives you a “readiness score” that combines elements of sleep and activity tracking, as well as heart rate and body temperature, to tell you how ready you are for the day. This can reveal issues with the amount or quality of sleep you’re getting, or both.
Overcoming workaholism and preventing burnout starts with recognizing the need to disconnect and prioritize real rest. Setting boundaries, practicing digital detoxes and taking meaningful time off are crucial steps toward reclaiming balance.
Remember, pushing yourself to the brink not only harms your health but also affects your productivity and relationships. By making self-care a priority and learning to set limits, you can maintain a healthier, more sustainable approach to work—and lead a more fulfilling life.
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This article was originally published on Forbes.com as a Forbes Coaches Council post.