There is an exercise that has been passed around different team meetings from the NFL to college basketball locker rooms that I like to relate to my form of coaching with executives. The “4 H’s” – history, heartbreak, heroes and hopes – can help you identify who you want to be as a leader. 

Taking a Play from Fellow Coaches

I first heard about this strategy when I read about Cleveland Browns Coach Kevin Stefanski using it during a team meeting during Covid. Stefanski had learned about the “4 H’s” from Mike Rhoades, then coach of Virginia Commonwealth University’s men’s basketball team. Rhoads learned about the exercise from Willis Wilson, coach at Texas A&M – Corpus Christi. What was being circulated among coaching friends has become a powerful play in leadership development.

Stefanski asked new player Andy Janovich who had just been traded from the Denver Broncos to the Browns to be the first teammate to take on the “4 H’s”. But this would not happen during a regular team meeting during the off season. It was during Covid in the 2020 season and the team was not allowed to meet in person. They did not have any type of organic interactions between the players and the coaches. Not only was Janovich new, but so was Stefanski and a slew of other new teammates and assistant coaches as well as the general manager. Janovich admitted that this request put him outside of his comfort zone as he would rather be running drills on the field than speaking in front of a large group of people, even if through a laptop.

But what happened was the first step in that team’s transformation. Janovich took the exercise seriously and spoke from his heart about his life, his biggest disappointments, his role models and what he envisioned for the future. He shared private details not found on the internet and teared up when he shared his biggest heartbreak, his mother’s death from cancer. His team knew Janovich was a superstar on the field when they acquired him, but now they understood the man behind the uniform. 

The exercise helped the team get to know Janovich and Stefanski better and even though these personal stories had to be shared during Zoom calls, they achieved the goal of coming together while they were apart. Even for the veteran players, these moments forged deeper connections. 

All of that had a measurable impact on the team. After introducing the “4 H’s”, the Cleveland Browns reported stronger teamwork and a more resilient culture during the challenging Covid season. Players felt more united, despite the lack of in-person interactions.

Related: How to Handle Feedback Like an Athlete

Teambuilding Begins with Individuals

The idea behind the “4 H’s” exercise is that to build a strong team you must get to know individuals first and the way to get to know people is by being personal. To gain trust and understand your teammates or colleagues, you must share what you are all about. 

I used this exercise with a leadership store team of about ten people in charge of a 70-million dollar retail store. This team had a great deal of responsibility, but they were struggling from a leadership perspective. The store manager was new to the team while others had been in their roles for a long time. Still others were new to the role but not new to the store since they had been promoted to management. They were all over the place in terms of experience with management and the company’s culture. 

Each manager had different ideas on how to lead their teams, how to get back the sales volume they needed to hit their goals and how to provide better customer service. The team had tried many different approaches, but they were all working in silos. What was missing was a connection with each other. 

The “4 H’s” exercise puts everyone on an even playing field. Each member of the leadership team went through the prompts and provided a glimpse into who they are as a person, which in turn reveals their leadership style.

  1. History – What is your story?
  2. Heartbreak – What is your biggest disappointment?
  3. Heroes – Who was/is it and why? 
  4. Hopes – What gives you hope? 

It is easy to see how by sharing this information with others, you are opening yourself up and becoming vulnerable, but when everyone on the team does it, it is a powerful shift from “me” to “we.” On this leadership team, the members were able to take a step back and start to build a solid foundation for stronger relationships because they understood each other as individuals. We spent an entire day in the “4 H’s” exercises, we did another day of delving into learning style inventory and on the third day, we talked about moving forward as one unit based on the company values. 

When implementing the “4 H’s” exercise, it is important to set a comfortable and safe environment where team members feel encouraged to be open. Start with leaders sharing their own stories to set the tone. It is important to listen without judgment, ensuring that each person has the time and space to share.

Teams that have undergone the “4 H’s” exercise often report stronger collaboration, reduced misunderstandings, and a deeper sense of shared purpose. Leaders see a marked improvement in team morale and cohesion, as individuals feel seen, heard, and respected.

Personal Leadership Development through Self-Reflection

I have obviously had success with this coaching strategy when working with entire teams whether in person or virtually. But the “4 H’s” also work well on an individual level. When I have a leader who is struggling to identify who they are from a leadership perspective, we take a step back. Who you are is what makes you the leader you are today. When we look back on our past, we can see what has contributed in both a positive and negative way to your leadership. That is a great starting point if you want to work on being a better leader.

The “4 H’s” exercise – history, heartbreak, heroes, and hopes – has proven to be a powerful tool for fostering deeper connections within teams and developing self-awareness in individuals. By encouraging honest, personal storytelling, it breaks down barriers and builds trust. At its core, this approach emphasizes that strong leadership and teamwork begin with understanding the person behind the role. By sharing and listening, we can shift from a focus on individual efforts to a unified team dynamic, creating the foundation for authentic, collaborative leadership.

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