Do you consistently deliver, meet deadlines, manage projects successfully and build strong client relationships yet your efforts go unnoticed? If you tend to be more low-key and work in an environment where the bold get all the recognition, it can be incredibly discouraging. But there are ways to stand out!
Smart, Not Loud
I recently listened to a HBR podcast with Jessica Chen, author of Smart, Not Loud: How to Get Noticed at Work for All the Right Reasons. Her book has frameworks we should all be aware of, especially if you consider yourself to have what she calls “quiet culture traits.” That means you are humble, modest, do not seek the spotlight, listen more than you speak, and overall avoid conflict.
Those types of people can often be overlooked at work because organizations with “loud cultures” typically reward those who speak up first, stand out, and highlight themselves. She calls this the “babble hypothesis” where people who tend to speak up more are perceived to have more leadership abilities. It is the same idea as the metaphor “the squeaky wheel gets the grease” meaning that people who draw attention to themselves are more likely to get attention or help than those who are quiet.
Chen’s book includes four reframes:
- How do you engage with other people (i.e., communication skills)?
- How do you spend your time at work?
- How do you celebrate the work you are doing?
- How do you manage conflict?
Hate Self-Promotion?
Many of my coaching clients share their concern about not feeling comfortable promoting themselves. Just recently, one of my clients had a very adverse reaction when we started to discuss self-promotion. In fact, she even said “Self-proclamation is no recommendation” which means that a claim about yourself is not necessarily a recommendation of your quality or truth.
Of course, I reiterated that she should focus on having her work speak for itself. When you speak about your work and your accomplishments, you are not bragging but rather bringing attention to your work rather than on you personally.
For example, Chen recommends having what she calls a “yay” folder in your email inbox. Anytime you receive praise or congratulations, save that email in your yay folder. Over time, this folder will be full of evidence that you are doing an excellent job. I love this conciseness. For years, I have advised clients to create a Word document and cut and paste those emails into it. But it is so much easier to simply drag and drop into an email folder, and the document could get buried in your files.
And there are so many practical applications for a yay folder. If you are having an inner critic attack, go to that folder to get a pick me up when you aren’t feeling your best. Rereading those emails can remind you of what others see in you. Everything you compile will give you talking points when you are looking for those more interesting stretch assignments, and it can help you formulate how you want to speak about yourself in a job interview.
I remember reading a book many years ago called Positivity by Dr. Barbara Fredrickson, a social psychologist who conducts research in emotion and positive psychology. In this book, she discusses the power of negative self-talk and that we need three pieces of positivity to neutralize one piece of negative self-talk. If you have that yay folder handy, you can use it to find three examples when you have done an excellent job, get out of your funk, and perhaps make some decisions on how to promote yourself.
Communicating your Worth
For those people who have quiet traits, using Chen’s framework to think about how they are communicating could be a big benefit. It should not be a matter of whether to speak up, but rather considering your audience when you are speaking and making sure your communication resonates.
One way to do this is by connecting and contributing. The first step is to connect with the previous speaker by recognizing their contribution with something as simple as “I see where you’re coming from.” It shows attentiveness and respect for their input.
The next step is where you highlight a key word or phrase they used. “I see where you are coming from, and I noticed you mentioned the need for more innovation.” That subtly ties your response to their thoughts.
Finally, you share your own perspective, allowing you to seamlessly enter the conversation. It is not about volume or intensity, but rather about timing and approach – an effective way to make communication flow naturally.
Leveraging your Work
We are all assigned work to do with a certain deadline. You are going to do the work, so you might as well find a way to leverage that work for other opportunities.
Another client I worked with shared a story that really captures this idea. He was working in the finance department of a healthcare company but was curious about learning more about marketing. After wrapping up an analysis project, he reached out to the marketing team to see if they would be interested in using his data to support their campaign strategy. This simple gesture opened conversations with the marketing team and helped him build connections that gave him insight into the field in which he was interested.
Handling Wins at Work
In addition to saving emails in your yay folder, be sure to forward any positive emails from clients to your boss even if it is as simple as saying they enjoyed collaborating with you on a project. This positive feedback will help your leader keep your performance top of mind.
Uncomfortable Conflict
Many of us go out of our way to avoid conflict, especially those with quiet traits. Those people will often just take on the problem themselves because they do not want to bother anyone. But being transparent, even if there is a problem, is a better strategy. Use your communication skills and present the problem to your manager but also propose solutions. When you do not shy away from conflict, it helps boost your credibility.
Advocating for Yourself
I work with a lot of clients who are looking for new jobs or careers. When I ask them why they are good at their job, I am often met with a blank expression, and they say “I do not know. I am not really good at anything.” Obviously, that negative self-talk will not get you far, so we start to put together evidence of what you have done. At JMA, we offer personal branding support that helps you identify achievements you have been recognized for, the contributions you have accomplished. We offer a series of 20 prompts such as:
- At work, I have always been recognized for…
- Others frequently compliment me for…
- What 2-3 things do I find easy to do, and I know I do them well?
This exercise is a way to get your creative thoughts flowing so you can speak to your value and eventually create your own brand statement.
A good leader will coach his/her employees to advocate for themselves by calling out positive traits or accomplishments and encouraging them to ask for what they want. Think about being a good host. When someone comes to a dinner party at your house but does not know all the other guests, you make them feel welcome by saying something positive about them and then asking a question that they would answer to the group. A boss can help you feel comfortable enough that you are willing to speak up. However, remember that boss will not always be in the room to elicit the ideas from the quiet individual, so it is up to that individual to learn how to advocate for themselves.